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Category: blonde jokes

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A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?" Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?" Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?" Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

#454
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Oct 19, 2010 07:45 PM - Blonde Jokes - by postman

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A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T." The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

#310
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Jun 28, 2010 04:48 PM - Blonde Jokes - by Silly

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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a frim grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...... The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse!

#251
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Apr 30, 2010 12:03 PM - Blonde Jokes - by Anton

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Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any," replied the first fisherman. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second fisherman, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three fishermen started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the fisherman, said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are Steelhead trout in this river?!"

#250
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Apr 21, 2010 08:16 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 25th step he would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 150th step, so she could not enter heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 350th step, so she could not enter heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."

#249
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Apr 21, 2010 08:15 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

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Once upon a time there were two blondes who had gone rock climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Ross!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply. "Okay Ross," shouted Robert, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and..." but before he could finish, he heard Ross call, "But both my legs are broke." Robert suggested his arms, to which the reply was, "They're broken too!" So finally, Ross held on with his mouth. Robert struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Robert said, "You right there mate?" Ross replied, "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"

#248
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Apr 21, 2010 08:15 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

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A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Why did you give them names like that?" The blonde responded, "What else would you name watch dogs?"

#246
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Apr 21, 2010 08:15 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

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This blonde was bored with driving her old BMW. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. So she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong? At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her. "That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter? Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."

#244
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Apr 21, 2010 08:14 AM - Blonde Jokes - by Ramiro

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